The charcoaled mess that remains is then served up in cinemas, along with a wonderful side dish (more on this side dish later). It’s like director Patrick Lussier and writer Todd Farmer gathered all the right ingredients together to make a pie and promptly burnt it until it caught fire. In fact, the entire film should be an incredible laugh, but somehow it isn’t. This set up is insane, and should be fun.
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Drive angry movie the accountant full#
So it’s a race against time as Milton pursues the baby-murdering cult whilst battling off the super-strong Accountant and a police force full of trigger-happy troopers. Yet Milton’s escape from the fiery underworld prison has not gone unnoticed and Satan has sent The Accountant ( William Fichtner) to collect him and return him to hell. He’s accompanied by Piper ( Amber Heard) a kick-ass Texas waitress with a lovely-looking car, who joins him in his mission to save the baby. The child will be sacrified on the full moon and Milton must stop it before his entire lineage is wiped clean by a nutcase cult-leader called Jonah King ( Billy Burke). He’s come back to Earth to save his baby granddaughter, who’s been kidnapped by a bunch of disorganized Satan-worshippers. It never explains how, but it involves a car. It’s vile, boring in places and simply so incredibly shoddy it’ll make you resent paying even a penny for it… let alone a few extra quid for some 3D glasses.
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The trailers make it look like ridiculous exploitative nonsense, the plot sounds like Ghost Rider in a car and Nic Cage’s new hair guarantees at least five seconds of guffawing… but it’s worse than that. I doubt many of you are slapping hands-to-cheeks and screaming “No way!” at this news, but it’s actually more terrible than you expect.